Marriage Discovery Digest

 
 

POWER OF COMMUNICATION IN HOME BUILDING

Lawrence K. Ayodele 

Good communication is the art of sending and receiving a clear message. Therefore, good communication involves the sender (the person talking), the receiver (the person listening) and a clear message. The most important factor in a good marriage is good communication. Yet, most husbands and wives are guilty of poor communication in their home.

It takes a period of time for husbands and wives to develop a good communication network between themselves. If husbands and wives are to develop a good communication network, the following rules must be known and observed.

Rules of Good Communication

  1. Husbands and wives must have a quality time to discuss issues concerning the family.

  2. The mood of our spouse must be good when critical issues are to be discussed.

  3. Issues must be approached in a proper way. Always speak for yourself. You should speak the truth in love, Eph. 4:15.

  4. The atmosphere must be conducive to good and honest communication. There should be no third party around. Also, there should be no tension in the home.

  5. The mind of husbands and wives must be clear to each other. Any grudge or malice in the mind will affect the tone of the message or the receptive ability and interpretation of the receiver. Any misunderstanding must be handled with love and maturity.

  6. You should allow your spouse to finish talking before you respond, Prov. 18:13; James 1:19. A happy marriage is possible where husband and wife can express his or her feeling about a given action or situation without fear.

  7. You should listen to your spouse. We have attentive listener, passive listener or selective listener. The best one is attentive listener.

  8. You should check out your spouse’s statement as you understand it.

  9. You should start your discussion from the area of interest to your spouse. You may start by asking simple questions?

  10. The focus of the listener must not be on the words but the feeling of the person talking.

When the rules of good communication are violated, there is always communication breakdown.

Effects of Communication Breakdown in The Family

  1. Rise of tension in husbands and wives. Bottled-up resentment constitute one of the greatest dangers to marriage. It has a way of coming out by way of quarrelling and fighting between husbands and wives.

  2. Lack of unity and love. This may force the family to remain in wilderness for a long time. It also makes the individual problems to linger more than necessary.

  3. Loneliness. Lack of communication between husbands and wives violates the rules of companionship of marriage, Gen. 2:18.

  4. Lack of mutual trust between husbands and wives.

  5. Wastage of family resources due to secrecy in the mode of operation of husbands and wives.

  6. Children becoming wayward because the parents could not work out the mode of their training.

  7. It gives room for third parties to penetrate into the family.

  8. It may lead to separation and divorce.

Importance of Good Communication in Home Building

Without good communication, husbands and wives will have strained relationship. This will affect their ability to build a stable home. Good communication is important in home building because of the following reasons:

  1. Through it, conflicts between husbands and wives are amicably resolved.

  2. Through it, husbands and wives express their feelings to each other.

  3. Through it, husbands and wives could plan and take useful decisions for the overall welfare of their family.

  4. Through it, children are trained for a better future.

  5. Through it, the aspirations of husbands and wives are discussed for proper harmonisation.

  6. Through it, the husbands and wives express their love for each other.

  7. Through it, the husbands and wives can express the family’s needs to God in prayer.

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