Question 12: How do I cope with my finance when my husband is not contributing his own quota to the running of the home? I have informed my pastor and they have advised him, yet no changes. This problem is really affecting me and putting me into debts. 

Answer:         The fact that your husband is not contributing his own quota to the running of the home does not say he is not a responsible, loving and caring husband. The point that must be clarified is: What is the reason why he is not contributing his quota? Does he have and he refuses to contribute? Is he earning meagre income that is not enough to meet the family’s budget? Whatever be the case, you need to relate with him with understanding and forbearance. If you are in a position to bridge the gap created by his inability to meet up, kindly go ahead. If you do it as unto the Lord without murmuring and in love and humility, I trust God that he will supply all what you need to meet up. Later, He will lift up your husband and then your husband will appreciate all your efforts to sustain the family. However, as a manager of home, you must manage whatever that is available now. Agreed with your husband to trim down the family expenses to an  affordable level pending the time that God will visit your family with blessings.

Question 13: A man and a woman were joined together by a pastor on their wedding day. After some years they gave birth to children but they were all “SS”. My question is: ‘What can the husband do as the wife has divorced the husband as a result of the situation of things in the family? 

Answer:         This case is very pathetic. The couple could not have married if they have determined and known their genotypes before marriage. Their case is that of omission. But it is not a ground for them to divorce. It is a pity that the wife has divorced the husband. My advice to the husband is to pray that God should bring the wife back. The two of them should do family planning that is permanent like tubal ligation or vasectomy. They should realise that having children is not the only reason for marriage. Once they are able to keep each other’s companion and satisfy each other sexually, they should go ahead. They must think of heaven more than earthly gains. If they should separate and each marries another husband or wife, they are committing adultery and no adulterer or adulteress can inherit the kingdom of God (Read 1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Galatians 5:19-21). If one goes to hell because he/she wants to have healthy children, he/she will have himself/herself to blame. It is better to gain heaven than having all the riches and pleasures of this world together.

In case you have a question you want me to answer, send it to the counsellor through: thecounsellor@marriagediscovery.org. I will reply you in due course. Please use your correct email address and if possible include your telephone number. I honour your privacy. Your email will not be sold out.